Complex PTSD Caused by Developmental and Relational Trauma
As humans we have a basic need for safety and connection. People need to know they are valued and safe in relationships with others. When children lack a trusted adult to provide comfort and connection during the early stages of development, it has a more serious impact on the child. During these formative years, the nervous system and social engagement system are formed, creating neural pathways for relating to others. A state of heightened awareness to potential threat will begin to feel normal to the child and eventually safety and human connection feel uncomfortable and threatening. These patterns will stay in place and the individual will gravitate towards what is familiar over what is healthy unless he or she makes an effort to heal.
Lacking safety or connection often results developmental and relational trauma, a type of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD). Complex post-traumatic stress disorder can be the result of an ongoing traumatic experience, childhood abuse, long-term bullying, or physical/emotional neglect. Pete Walker, LMFT, states CPTSD is a learned set of responses and failure to complete developmental tasks due to a lack of nurturing during childhood (2013). A child who does not feel safe and secure often becomes an adult who is unable to feel safe in the world or trust others. The autonomic nervous system gets stuck in survival mode, and the individual fails to develop a sense of self, advocate for personal needs, love and protect himself or herself, and establish healthy interpersonal skills (Bergstrom, 2019).
There are various symptoms of CPTSD, but five are most common—emotional flashbacks, toxic shame, self-abandonment, a vicious inner critic, and social anxiety (Walker, 2013). Emotional flashbacks are a sudden and overwhelming feeling-state of abuse or abandonment that can include fear, shame, alienation, rage, grief, depression, etc. Toxic shame is felt as a continuous sense of worthlessness, self-loathing, disgust or humiliation which is generally rooted in parental contempt, neglect, or rejection. Self-abandonment mirrors the abandonment felt in childhood and consists of an unawareness or denial of oneself, emotions, needs, or preferences. Those who experienced verbal abuse or severe criticism will likely form a vicious inner critic—an inner dialogue that berates, belittles, demands perfection, and fosters fear and shame. Social anxiety, a fear of not being accepted by others or being judged in public places, can make an individual preoccupied with people-pleasing and what others are thinking. Other symptoms can include: extreme loneliness and abandonment, a fragile self-esteem, attachment disorder, developmental arrests, relationship difficulties, mood swings, oversensitivity to stress, hair-triggered fight/flight response, or suicidal ideation (Walker, 2013).
The good news is that this is a learned response to one’s environment which can be unlearned (Walker, 2013). Because this condition was formed by a threatening or neglectful relationship, healing requires learning through healthy relationships. The therapeutic relationship provides a safe and secure space for those who have CPTSD to learn to trust others and acknowledge their own value while they heal and learn healthy secure attachment. Through healthy relating, new neural pathways are formed, allowing the world and trusted relationships to begin feeling familiar, comfortable, and safe again.
If you believe you may be experiencing CPTSD, please reach out to schedule an appointment.
Resources
For more information on CPTSD, see the following links:
European Journal of Psychotraumatology
Online Courses: Healing Your Core Issues Parts 1 and 2
References
Bergstrom, J. (2019). Gifts from a challenging childhood: Creating a practice for becoming your
healthiest self. Mountain Stream Publishing Company.
Walker, P. (2013). Complex PTSD: From surviving to thriving. Azure Coyote.